It’s Been a Wild Ride.

November 24th, 2009

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Dear Friends,

Having worked for three years at CHIEF, I am now stepping away to pursue other projects.

After founding ChiefMag.com in 2006, I partnered with Ed Zipco and together we worked tirelessly to generate unique content for ChiefMag.com, release stellar music from bands like Ninjasonik on Chief Records, as well as build and operate the raucous Brooklyn venue Bodega.

It’s been a wild ride.

Working side-by-side with Ed Zipco for all these years has been invaluable. I’ve said it before and it remains to be true: I wouldn’t have done it with anyone else. You’re a fuckin’ mad scientist. And I love you, brother.

I have so many truly unforgettable memories from these last years… like the time we had Maggie Lee’s birthday party on the Dobbin rooftop and 600 people showed up. Or the time Tommy the Naked Man stopped by the office and left a stain on one of our chairs. Ninjasonik’s album release party at the Music Hall, the mud wrestling party, our anniversary auction at 3rd Ward, last year’s loading dock rooftop jam on Roebling, the home-made Sparks experiment, all those late night drinking/brainstorming sessions…

Needless to say, the activities of CHIEF have required the hard work and dedication of dozens of individuals, all of whom donated their time and energy. I’d like to thank everyone I worked with to grow CHIEF over the years. Most sincerely, thank you. You are family.

Since the ChiefMag.com server crashed,we have had to re-upload our archived content. Some of the ChiefMag interviews are back online and more will be added each week. Please visit http://www.ChiefMag.com/archives.html

Additionally, Ed Zipco has just launched a beta version of SuperChief.tv And it’s fantastic. I support it 100% and will continue to read it every day. http://www.SuperChief.tv

And get ready, Chief Records will release the “Art School Girls” LP by Ninjasonik early 2010.

Working to develop CHIEF has been my most challenging and rewarding experience thus far. I am excited to take what I’ve learned through CHIEF and apply it to future collaborations.

See you in the streets!
Andy P. Smith

Andrew.Palmer.Smith@gmail.com
http://www.APSmith.net

http://www.ChiefCreative.com

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The Weekly Bizarre Blotter: Dear John…

November 11th, 2009

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Hell hath no fury . . .

A jilted lover repeatedly stabbed her cheating beau with a pencil in their Murray Hill apartment, police sources said yesterday.

[The woman], 37, went wild after discovering that her 49-year-old live-in lover was cheating on her and e-mailing naked pictures of her to his pals, sources said.

She confronted him in their East 39th Street apartment at 9 a.m. Monday and stabbed him with the pencil, choked him and ripped his shirt, sources said.

She was arrested on assault charges, a DA spokeswoman said.

(from the NY Post NYPD Blotter. Illustration by Michaelanthony Mitchell.)

Posted in CRIME, New Yorkers, Weird Shit, YIKES!, bastards, those bastards, buy viagra, i'm in love, pornography, scumbag, smells like poor judgement, wtf?, you go grrrl! | No Comments »

Everyone We Love Is Brilliant. MURDERTRONICS WINS GRANDPRIZE IN MAJOR LAZER REMIX CONTEST!!!

November 2nd, 2009

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Getting you your news FIRST.

This is MTV NEWS.

BOOOOOOM! (and you goddamn right they fuck fans.)

Posted in Announcements, Yay Hooray!, you go grrrl! | 3 Comments »

The Weekly Bizarre Blotter: Shock Lobster

November 1st, 2009

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The faces of these Canadian officials were redder than a cooked lobster.

Authorities in Halifax established a hot line for out-of-work lobstermen. But two digits were reversed and callers were connected to a sex line instead.

One applicant for an aid package was told, “Hey there, hot stuff. I’ve been waiting for your call.”

(from The New York Post’s Weird But True. Illustration by Michaelanthony Mitchell.)

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Posted in Adverstising, Megan Fox naked, Megan Fox nude, Megan Fox topless, Weird Shit, YIKES!, animals, buy viagra, friends helping friends, hilarious, pornography, smells like poor judgement, wtf? | No Comments »

I’m not a lesbian…

October 28th, 2009

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But I like to kiss girls!

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Posted in New Yorkers, Yay Hooray!, you go grrrl! | No Comments »

Your Plans Tonight!

October 28th, 2009

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FINALLY.

a new monthly party:

deathwish ††††††††††††††††††††

36mafia†††the cure
gucci mane†††christian death
tupac†††death in june
dipset†††bauhaus
aaliyah†††cocteau twins
total†††nick cave
lil kim†††siouxsi and the banshees
camron†††new order
biggie†††alien sex fiend
project pat†††skeletal family
foxy brown†††soft cell
and more.

october 28th
10pm
beauty bar bushwick

dj venus
dj cunty (house of la dosha)
rev mcfly at the bar

I’ll be there, WASTED. (after game 1, ya know what i mean you know what i mean you know what i mean?)

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PS Not so much?

October 27th, 2009

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Cube’s made it outta the mean basement and into the wide river. All the ghetto rage has been drained from his blood and pumped into his should be dimpled cheeks. My man is rockin that orange life vest like a puffy coat meets chain cuz its high collared and he don’t give a fuck- no room for ice, no worries. Fish may get crazy if you rock too much gold. This is rapper retirement heaven in action which is grand and all but it sort of looks like a lobotomy or castration. Now that it’s gone, there’s nothing to worry about.

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Rainy Day Recipes: Chocolate Chip Cookies

October 27th, 2009

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Cookies are also a quick fix that will rot your teeth. This recipe produces the world’s most amazing cookie. The secret to melt in mouth goodness is refrigerating the batter, which is what they forget to tell you on the back of the chocolate chips

Chocolate Chip Cookies with Toasted Almonds
Makes 24 Cookies
1/2 cup whole natural almonds, toasted (See below)
10 TBS unsalted butter, softened
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 large egg
1 2/3 cups AP flour
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
8 oz. best-quality semisweet (58%) chocolate, coarsely chopped into 1/4- to 1/2-inch chunks
Before you start
Position a rack in the center of your oven. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper.

(1) Roughly chop the almonds into large pieces.

(2) In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream together the butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar, and vanilla until fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the egg and beat for another minute.

(3) In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt.

(4) With the mixer on low speed, add the flour mixture in three batches, mixing until no flour is visible after each addition. Scrape down the sides of the bowl.

(5) Remove the bowl from the mixer. Stir in the almonds and chocolate. Refrigerate the dough until firm, about 1 hour. (If you’re really impatient or hungry, spread out the dough on a tray or cookie sheet, lay a sheet of plastic wrap flush against the surface of the dough, and freeze so it chills up fast.)

(6) Once the dough has chilled, turn it out onto a clean work surface and divide it in half. Roll each half into a log about 12 inches long. Refrigerate the logs for at least 30 minutes before slicing. (At this point, you can wrap the logs tightly in plastic wrap and then aluminum foil and freeze for up to 1 month.)

(7) Cut the logs into 1-inch slices, and place them about 1 1/2 inches apart on each cookie sheet. Bake for 13 to 14 minutes, or until the centers no longer have a glossy look of raw dough. They should be chewy, so do not overbake.

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Rainy Day Recipes: Meth

October 27th, 2009

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Here’s how to cook up some meth-and-phet-a-mean, in case you were wondering. There’s nothing like a good experiment, specially if it gets you stoned

“Nazi Methamphetamine” Tabletop Recipe:
Standard Equipment Needed (5 Grams):
7.5 Grams Iodine Prill or Iodine Crystals Ephedrine or Pseudoephedrine….1665 Pills produces 5 Pure Grams Sodium Hydroxide…………………1 Pint Red Devil Lye 3.5 Grams Red-Phosphorus……5000 Matchbook’s 250ml Glass Flask…………………2 20oz Plastic Jug’s…………………2 Coffee Filters……………………….6 Electric Coffee Cup Warmer….1 6’’ or longer Rubber Hoses……3 Plastic Gallon Jug’s……

(1)Collect red phosphorous from the striking pads of matchbooks. Scraping it off with a razor blade is a simple collection process.

(2)When all of the phosphorous falls off the paper, remove the paper, filter the acetone/red phosphorous through two coffee filters, rinse with distilled water, and let dry.

(3)Mix up a solution of 20% sodium hydroxide. That is 20% grams of sodium hydroxide in 100 ml of distilled water.

(4)Place the dry red phosphorous in a beaker or flask of choice and add the hydroxide solution to it.

(5)Heat this mixture on low heat for a few hours, and then filter through two coffee filters again. When dry, rinse with hot distilled water a few times and let dry. This will produce a more pure powder that will fire off a push/pull reaction.

To convert 2% iodine tinctures, the following are used: 500 ml 2% iodine tincture 125 ml muramic acid (hardware store strength) 235 ml hydrogen peroxide (3% topical solution) 862 ml distilled water To convert 7% iodine tinctures, the following are used: 1 pint of 7% tincture 3 pints of 3% peroxide 2 oz. of muriatic acid ‘/a cup of distilled water.

(6)Pour the tincture in a one-gallon milk jug, add the muriatic acid, and mix it all together well. Let this mixture sit for half an hour. Now add the 3% hydrogen peroxide, with thorough mixing, and let it sit for another half an hour.

(7)Next, add the distilled water and shake vigorously until your arms tire, then let it sit for another half an hour. There should be an orange layer on top of a dark grey layer. The grey layer is what you want. The grey layer is iodine crystals that have crashed out of solution.

(8)Pour off the orange layer, add more fresh distilled water to them, and shake again.

(9) Let it sit for a few minutes, and then pour off the orange solution again. Repeat this process three times, and after the third time, pour the contents through two coffee filters. Now one must wring dry the crystals in the coffee filters.

(10)Wring dry, put them in another stack of coffee filters, and wring them out again. Keep doing this until one gets a nice solid dry ball of crystals.
That’s it!

** One should have nice iodine crystals that will work in the reaction. Store the crystals in a dark-colored jar or bottle. Warning: When making one’s own crystals from tinctures, wear eye protection and chemical resistant gloves. Remember that iodine is poisonous, so be safe, and work outdoors.

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EYEHATEGOD played on a fucking boat!

October 27th, 2009

Pussy, guns and heroin was the mantra repeated Saturday night by EYEHATEGOD frontman, Mike Williams. The legendary New Orleans hardcore-sludge-stoner band was booked on an epic roster with Goatwhore and Pig Destroyer.

EYEHATEGOD Boat Show 2009 from William on Vimeo.

The show took place aboard The Temptress, Rocks Off’s flagship vessel. It’s a large, multi-decked three story boat with bars and plenty of hiding places.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted in Last Night, METAL!, apocalypse, hilarious, music | 2 Comments »

TESTIFY! Neon Indian, Almighty Defenders, and Prosthelytizing at CMJ

October 26th, 2009

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Ah, October. CMJ stands for College Media Journal, but it also stands for a time when certain groups of music-lovers and goers get their panties in a twist and freak out like its the prom, homecoming, and the week they got pubes all rolled into one. “Oh my god, you going to CMJ?! ackackackackacckckkkkkk!” Is common parlance at this time, but really I think it’s over-rated. I seriously enjoy going to concerts, going to see new bands, and I like me some free stuff to make me feel marginally important, but really it’s just overkill in one week while wearing a lanyard like a latchkey kid. Anyhoozles, this week also coincided with me getting the worst sickness of all time, but I did get to see some interesting stuff when I wasn’t laying in bed in a Nyquil-enduced fever dream. Music and booze bring people together! let’s check it out!

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Posted in Adverstising, Announcements, Badass!, Chief Tells You What To Think, Last Night, Now That's What I Call Music!, Yo, I'm Just Sayin', bastards, those bastards, brooklyn, public service, scumbag | No Comments »

Chief’s New Staff Member (Who Might Be Dusted) & Ghostface!

October 26th, 2009

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Everyone likes Ghostface Killah. Thugs, dust-heads, skaters, hipsters, hype beasts, suburbanites and straight up dorks are attracted to the charm of the wallabee champ. So it was no surprise to see a huge collection of these wrapped around the corner of 19th street waiting to see the man himself for a free show at Hiro Ballroom. Stumbling around the corner, I was worried I was going to be the only person not rocking dunks, Supreme, a fitted hat, black hoody or any combination there of.

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Luckily, I ran into the runts, homies in the cut pounding beers looking like the “I don’t give a fuck” scumbags that they are, except of course Dakota who has to look fly at all times. [Editor's Note: Dakota looks like a goddamn 45 year old man in this photo.]

After a few beers and acting a little reckless, I began to notice the mentality of most of the people waiting in line. Being a little wobbly, I bumped into a dude in front of me and he turned and said, “Yo son, chill the fuck out” all aggro like he got robbed for 30 bucks in Teaneck, New Jersey.

Shortly after that I casually ask another in line for a hit of weed and got the reply, “You see us smoking bro?” with the same heir of toughguyness. Eventually I found some weed to smoke but goddam those douchebags who can potentially blow my high.

Inside was the same bullshit. I got frisked by some brolic ass black dude, played by some ghetto bitches and was very mindful not to step on any jerface’s shoe. The show didn’t start, it was packed and I was very skeptical.

Ghost came out and played rockers for the first half hour. “Ice Cream,” “Verbal Intercourse” (with Nas’s part), “Be Easy” , “Nutmeg” all that good shit. I was in awe to say the least, bobbing my head and moving about in my little bit of space. With a little bit of drunken courage, I attempted to go on stage but quickly got strong armed by a couple of Puerto Rican chicks with their boyfriends behind them, ready to kick my ass. I got very tired of the monotonous standing around and $7 beers very shortly after that.

Hip Hop shows suck. Imagine if a rap show was like a punk show with people singing along and jumping around everywhere. Not only would that alleviate the bullshit thug mentality at shows it’d be way more fun and I feel a dude like Tony Starks would be so into it- for he is truly the Jimmy Gestapo of rap. Smoke a blunt and go crazy to Apollo Kids. In a perfect world, my-bitch. Fuck that show, bounced, did some coke, pissed some people off and got kicked out of this chick’s house.

Incidentally, I saw Ghostface on the streets of Philly a couple days later and was so high/star-struck that I couldn’t even approach him so I bounced back to this block party where I could actually dance my fuckin ass off and not give a shit.

Ghost, I love you but completely turned off on seeing you or any other rapper live; I’m down to kick it and drink some beers but I don’t know , sorry bruh.

-Suga Slim

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The Weekly Bizarre Blotter: Tinnitus

October 25th, 2009

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A brutal attack left a man hospitalized and missing a large chunk of his ear, sources said.

[The man], 46, had been arguing with an acquaintance on Manton Street in Briarwood shortly before 2 p.m. Sept. 17 when he allegedly threw an empty can at the man.

The [other] man stepped closer to confront him, and Rhodes punched him several times in the face, knocking him to the ground, the sources said.

He then pounced on the man and took a bite of his ear, tearing part of it off, according to court papers.

(from Thy NY Post’s NYPD Daily Blotter. Illustration by Michaelanthony Mitchell.)

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THURS NIGHT! HOPE GANGLOFF IS AN AMAZING ARTIST & OUR FRIEND.

October 21st, 2009

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I’LL SEE YOU THERE, I’LL BE THE WELL DRESSED MAN WITH DRUGS IN HIS POCKET.

test me.

-Zipper

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I Think We’re Alone Now, November 1

October 21st, 2009

BROOKLYN, you should go to this art opening on November 1, 2009. I’m curating a month long show by my favorite artist in Brooklyn, a charming genius named Tamara Waite-Santibanez.

There may be some bands, but because it’s punk art, we won’t know until the very last minute! With Halloween falling on a Saturday, I’m sure you’ll be ready to re-emerge from your bedrooms to look at her stuff before she’s famous.

New work by,
Tamara Waite-Santibanez

Cafe Orwell
247 Varet St (Morgan L-Train)

November 1, 2009
Open 7-10 PM

Check out some samples of her work: [1] [2] [3] [4]

Posted in A-R-T | No Comments »

Tonight! and tmrw! and the next day! (x2) Friends of Chief become friends of yours!

October 20th, 2009

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TUESDAY, OCTOBER 20
Co-curated by Paper Route

Ninjasonik
Graffiti Monsters
Null Sleep
Starscream
+Special Guests.
Visuals by YR Friend Matthew.

Doors 8pm | $5

complimentary Colt45

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21
Co-curated by No Fun Productions

No Fun Acid (Carlos Giffoni)
Oneohtrix Point Never
Noveller
Slasher Risk
Pale Blue Sky

Doors 8pm | $7

complimentary Colt45


THURSDAY, OCTOBER 22
Impose Test Patterns

Smith Westerns
The Beets
Beach Fossils
Xray Eyeballs
Idle Times
Girls at Dawn
Dream Diary

Doors 8pm | $5
complimentary Colt45

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 24 (DAY)
Curated by Famous Class Records

Future Islands, Jeff The Brotherhood, Darlings, Boogie Boarder, Dinowalrus, Rifle Recoil, Tony Castles, Snakes Say Hiss!, Moi Non Plus, DJ Mr. A*OK.

Doors 3pm | FREE
complimentary Colt45

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 24 (NIGHT)
Co-curated by Bikes in the Kitchen, Official JellyNYC Afterparty

Crystal Antlers
Golden Triangle
K-Holes
Smarts
Wild Yaks

Doors 9pm | FREE
complimentary Colt45


{All events held at Don Pedro’s: 90 Manhattan Ave, Brooklyn)

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AND NOW YOU NOW WHERE TO GET LOADED ON THE REGULAR

October 19th, 2009

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FINALLY BEN ROBEY IS BACK IN TOWN!!!!

I once watched Ben Robey ask a nun if she had the time and she pulled out her tits and said its nippo-clock.

the three of us laughed and laughed and laughed, cause when you’re right, you’re right!

(i dont give a fat fuck if that made sense. i ate two big handfuls of painkillers when i woke up today, STILL trying to recover from the party sat night. but hold up! jah is a bartender! how much fun is THAT gonna be? shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit)

Posted in A-R-T, Adverstising, Announcements, The Best Coast, U.S.A., Yay Hooray!, animals, apocalypse, bastards, those bastards, pornography, pussy, stuff we want | No Comments »

The Weekly Bizarre Blotter: Petite Larceny

October 18th, 2009

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This tiny thief might be looking at a big chunk of jail time.

[The thief], 46, went on a spending spree with a woman’s stolen credit cards, officials said yesterday.

The petite perp — all of 4-foot-11 and 100 pounds — bought $619 in goods from P.C. Richard, $180 from Modell’s, $35 from a liquor store and $127 from CVS, police said.

“I made those purchases, and I signed that person’s name,” she allegedly admitted.

[She] was charged with criminal possession of stolen property, forgery and (appropriately) petit larceny.

(from The NY Post’s NYPD Daily Blotter. Illustration by Michaelanthony Mitchell.)

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Posted in CRIME, New Yorkers, U.S.A., Weird Shit, hilarious, smells like poor judgement, wtf? | No Comments »

Tonight!!!! ZIPCO’S NASTY JAM!!!

October 17th, 2009

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ZIPCO IS BRINGING BACK THE NASTY JAM!!!

$5 cover
10-11 open bar
+21 dudes (sorry) +18 ladies (!!!!)

and the raddest dj’s the city has to offer playing the dirtiest shit you’ve ever heard.

sets by

JOHNNY SIERA & ROOFEO (57,THE DEATH SET)

DJ MORSY (NA NA CHILL)

MURDERTRONICS (57,LIVE SET))

REV MCFLY (NINJASONIK ,57)

DJ DIRTY FINGER WITH LIVE DRUMER (BLBC)

MAXWELL57 (BI-COASTAL KRUNK SET )

UNEMPLOYED LOYD (PLAYS THE HITS THAT MAKE YOUR PUSSY GO POP)

@ the glass door 98 moore street
DIRECTIONS
L to montrose
Start out going South on Bushwick Ave towards Johnson Ave
Turn right onto Via San Vicente Pallotti
Turn left onto Humboldt S
Turn right onto Moore St
Arrive at 98 MOORE ST,

OR j/m to flushing
Start out going West on Broadway towards Graham Ave
Turn right onto Graham Av
Turn right onto Moore St
Arrive at 98 MOORE ST, Brooklyn

COME THE FUCK OUT AND GET WASTED!!!!

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WHAT ARE U BEEEINNG FOR HALLOWEEN?

October 16th, 2009

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Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.

But I’m scared to look too slutty because it’s so cold I fear for my nipples. I always do something really last minute, and then wind up defending it all night- like here, when I was Drew Barrymore in 1995.

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(drew)

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(me, also on the right. no judgment)

Here are some costume ideas that I like:

My aunt, uncle and their son are being “the birds and the bees”. Yay, little Milo as a little bee!

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I could wear all pink, with a shoe over my head and be bubblegum…

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I really want to dress like carnivale, and just be some naked bird creature with bindi’s over my eyebrows. And I want to paint my body blue. And glitter…loads and loads of glitter.

carnivale

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Hindu goddess!

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Lady ga-ga (but, ick)

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This guy is doing something right:

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Whatever, I still have time…

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Posted in Chief Tells You What To Think, smells like poor judgement | 1 Comment »

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