Everyone knows that the Hudson River is full of shit. New Yorkers have been throwing their used condoms and dead bodies in there for decades. Most of the really terrible stuff that’s in the Hudson, though, was put there by a couple of irresponsible General Electric factories in the 1960’s and 70’s. Over 1.3 million pounds of dried carcinogenic PCB sludge has been festering at the bottom of the Hudson ever since. I know what you’re thinking: why don’t we just dig that shit up and smoke it. I agree, but unfortunately it’s PCB, not PCP, that’s the problem here.
The problem that environmentalists couldn’t solve for so many years was what to do with the toxic sludge that they planned on dredging up from the bottom of the Hudson. Enter Texas, the only state in America that has stepped up and recently volunteered to literally take New York’s shit. The carcinogenic sludge will be stored in a landfill near Texas’ border with New Mexico in an area that’s rich with oil fields. The mayor of a nearby town in New Mexico tried to play it cool in a recent Times article and was quoted as saying, “we have deadly gases in the oil fields, more deadly than any of the stuff they are going to put in the ground out here.” Well, it just goes to show ya: one person’s shit is another person’s…shit? THANKS TEXAS!