Dude. Seriously. It’s like if The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and those early morning cartoons we used to watch had a baby, and meanwhile, the craziest Beavis and Butthead episodes and the best Seinfeld had a baby, and then by some miracle those babies met, and fucked— then this would be the shit they’d birth. Listen to it. Three chords , incomprehensible words, played fast. Fuck, just listen to it.
Jason: My name is Jason Banny and I play guitar in Cerebral Ballzy.
Honor: My name is Honor.
Mason: My name is Mason
[Laughter]
Mel: Mel, I play bass–
Honor: Pugs, his name’s Pugs.
Chief Magazine: How long have you been a band?
Honor: Uh, seven months…
Mel: Six, seven months.
Jason: Started in September of last year.
And you’re already the self proclaimed “Worst Band of All Time?”
Jason: Yeah man, I don’t know… It’s a big compliment
Honor: We’ve progressively gotten worse. It’s great.
Jason: We work really hard to write the worst music we can every time. It’s– Fuck, it’s a lot of work.
Honor: I mean, as much slurring and puking and possible. Make’s the best slash worst.
Mason: It comes naturally to me.
Honor: It comes natural.
Is the goal to get better or worse?
Honor: Get better at getting worse.
Mel: Exactly.
That’s deep.
[Laughter]
So, you’re often compared to the Bad Brains because you’re all black, but, who are your influences?
Mason: We’re not all black though…
Mel: Well Mason’s pretty black
Jason: I am Black.
Well, are the Bad Brains an influence for you or–
Jason: Obviously, we all… I mean… I got… I stole Mel’s Bad Brains pin right now, but… We love Bad Brains. They’re…
Honor: They’re dope.
Jason: … awesome band. I mean, it wasn’t like we listened to the Bad Brains and then said, “Hey, we could do something like that.”
Honor: I think the racial thing is the biggest Bad Brains comparison maker. You can’t control it. It is what it is, but I would say we sound too much like the Bad Brains.
I don’t think the Bad Brains comparison is the best one out there. But… Who are your influences?
Honor: So many man. [Pause] Grip tape is a big influence…
Jason: Coors.
Honor: Beavis and Butthead.
Mason: Drugs have a big influence.
Jason: Pornography.
Honor: We’re under the influence of drugs all the time… Pornography… Burning Angel…
Mason: Bang Bros.
Honor: Bang Bus is fucking classic. Musically, I don’t know… We like The Dead Boys man, I’d say The Dead Boys are a big one.
Mel: Dead Boys fucking rock.
Jason: Dead Boys, Bad Brains, Black Flag…
Honor: Black Flag.
Jason: Fucking… Subhumans.
Honor: So many man.
Mason: Buzzcocks.
Honor: I heard The Germs meets The Black Lips one time and I’m not the biggest Black Lips fan around, but I can see that, it’s a pretty cool comparison, not to toot horns.
That all works for me. What do you do day to day?
Jason: You’re looking at it.
Honor: Eat pizza and smoke pot and skate.
Jason: Drink beer and hangout. Whatever the fuck we want to.
Honor: And hawk loogies and–
Mason: Everything but write music.
Mel: But then we do write music every once in a while and it turns out rad.
[Silence]
Honor: Yeah…[Laughter]
Jason: Look at this guy.
Mason: Debbie Downer in the front over there.
So what are your songs about, even though half the time your just slurring the words?
[Laughter]
There was one show at Bodega and you replayed a song because something fucked up and mumbled incoherent words up until the chorus of “Cerebral Ballzy!”
[Laughter]
Jason: Yeah, that’s the anthem. Pretty much… I don’t even know if there’s any chords. We just play as fast as we can. Pretty much.
So what’s the live show about?
Mason: Energy.
Honor: It’s about playing music.
Jason: It’s about having fun, man.
Honor: No, no, we play music.
Jason: It’s about having fun. That’s all it’s about. And we’re gonna play music, but… I have fun when everybody else has fun and that’s all I really want to do man.
Mel: I mean, you fall off the drums and shit, you know that sound stops, but everyone’s fucking losing their minds and we’re drunk as fuck anyway, so it’s like, well, we can’t play for this second, but whatever.
Honor: On the same token, I don’t know, we shred the gnar, fucking… We write songs. We play music.
I’m not saying–
Honor: Totally… It’s… A lot of kids come up to us and are like, “Yo man, that shit was fucking crazy when I broke my head on the fucking drum and I got hit in the face,” but it’s also rad when a kid is like, “Yo, man, that song you did two songs in was so rad.” I don’t know. I like both. We write songs about skating and drinking.
Jason: Essentially. I mean, that was the question, right?
[Laughter]
What happened on the SXSW tour?
Jason: Phew…
[Laughter]
Mason: I lost my Brain.
Honor: None of us know.
Mason: You probably know more than we do.
Honor: Uhh, fucking drinking every day. Did the handshake about thirty bajillion times. Lot of puking. Lot of ugly girls.
Mel: Lot of rad shows, too, man.
Mason [mocking]: Lot of rad shows…
Jason: Mel’s like, Mel’s the… [laughter]
Honor: There were a lot of ugly girls.–
Mason: There were a lot of not right things done–
Honor: I hooked up with a bitch, with a chick that looked like Jay Leno in Chicago.
Jason: That’s a fact.
All: That’s a fact.
The chin and the hair and everything?
Honor: She could have a Starbucks line–
Jason: He hooked up with Jay Leno right after he hooked up with fucking Joey Ramone.
Mason: Joey Ramone!
Honor: That was in Alabama.
Jason: Serious, serious, like, spitting image of Joey Ramone. With tits. It was fucking crazy dude.
Honor: So punk. She’s french, too.
That was in Alabama?
[Laughter]
Honor: That was in Alabama.
So the south treated you well?
Honor: The south treated me well. As it always does.
Jason: Awesome. Fucking Bottle Tree, the venue in Birmingham, is the fucking raddest place in the world.
Honor: Yeah man.
I went there when I was on tour with Japanther and they played there after they played at Cave 9, another spot in town. Both shows were awesome, but Bottle Tree, the sound alone…
Honor: Yeah…
Jason: And Rebecca there is the fucking shit.
Honor: Yeah, Rebecca rules.
And it’s run by the drummer of the Polyphonic Spree.
Jason: I have no idea about that.
Any other stories from tour?
Honor: Mel threw a traffic cone at Abe’s face while he wasn’t looking.
Mel: I didn’t throw it at his face. I just happened to swing it and–
Jason: Mel threw a traffic cone. It hit Mel… I mean, it hit Abe in the face and he got a huge gash on his fucking shit, had to get seven stitches.
Mason: Well, there were metal weights on the bottom, too.
Mel: It wasn’t your average cone.
Honor: I got head from a chick with a kid.
[Laughter]
Honor: That shit ruled.
Mason: He was watching in the backseat.
Jason: And we kept her fucking whack ass leopard print bra in our van the whole tour.
Mason: The little kid was outside the van banging on it.
[Laughter]
The kid was there?
[More Laughter followed by silence]
Honor: There was just so much man. I did a thick marmalade of drugs in Philly.
Mel: Yeah, the last day everyone got gnarly.
Mason: I got so fucking wasted.
Honor: What was it called, the Danger Danger Gallery? I know why it’s called that now. Fucking… All plastered.
Alright. What else?
Honor: I like tacos.
Jason: Fucking tacos.
Honor: Yeah man, tacos rule.
Do you think you want to stay in the punk scene your in right now?
Jason: I don’t want to be in any scene. I want to be on your iPod. I don’t care about a scene. I don’t even care about fucking recordings either. I just want you to come to the shows man.
Honor: Nah, yeah, I care about… I don’t know… It’s like, although I’m a huge punk fan, we kind of got placed in to it. We didn’t really present our music as punk, as anything.
Jason: I don’t think, I mean, I know we don’t, I don’t think a lot of people do think about, “oh, where are we going to be placed? What are we going to do?” It was just like we wrote this music and then we were received in whatever way that happens.
Yeah. I’ve been going to your shows and you’ve been playing with The Deathset and Japanther and that whole Brooklyn scene, but do you guys want to play shows with more bands that are considered straight punk?
Jason: We’ll lay shows with anybody man.
Mel: We’ll play shows with anybody.
Honor: As long as I vibe with it.
Jason: More so, playing with people you mentioned, those guys are our friends. They fucking rule. That’s what it really comes down to.
Honor: I don’t know, that’s a really good question, though. I want to play… I want to play the shit that I like, regardless.
Do you care how people contextualize you is I guess what I meant…
Mason: We don’t wear studs because it doesn’t feel real to us, but we’ll play with–
Honor: I don’t give a fuck what people think, but more so I just want people to understand that there’s real New York grit behind our shit and I think people can understand that. That’s the one thing that I want to get across. That shit is what we live and what we do.
And what do you live and what do you do besides eat pizza and skating?
Honor: Nothing else–
Mason: Beer.
Honor: Yeah, beer.
[Laughter]
I’m trying to think of any other questions, but we covered pizza, beer, music…
Mel: You got it man.
Jason: Just write that man.
Alright. Well, anything else you want to talk about?
All: Uhm…
One of the first shows I saw you at was the New Museum.
Jason and Honor: That was a shit show.
Honor: Yeah, total shit show.
Mel: It sucked.
Jason: They were really nice to us, they were really cool there. I mean, it was just, you were there, the space was kind of weird.
Honor: It was the only show that we can say that there was blood on the wall without me fucking a chick.
Mason: Awww, dude… Shut the fuck up.
Jason: Edit. Edit.
Mel: Blood on the walls without fucking a chick…Really?
Mason: Dude, this is going on the internet. I thought you were trying to keep your player image down.
Honor: Oh yeah. Give me the dark face with the weird voice.
[Laughter]
We’ll put everything you say as Abe.
[Laughter]
Jason: His girlfriend will love it.
Where is Abe today?
Mel: He woke up ten minutes ago. Kind of cannoned himself.
Honor: I don’t know… I want everyone to appreciate our music… in a way. Because I feel like everyone… how corny this might sound… everyone has some punk inside of them.
Mason: No dude. You can appreciate it or you can not appreciate it. It doesn’t fucking matter. We’re just gonna do it and we’re gonna have fun.
Honor: Well, no shit, but–
Mason: It doesn’t really matter dude.
Honor: I mean, no shit we’re gonna fucking doing it. We’re in the fucking band, but I’m just saying. We came here to bring out the inner youth and the inner rebellion within everyone.
Do you guys think you would play a show for 15,000 people if that was a possibility or would you rather play house shows?
Honor: Yep. I wanna play 15,000 person house shows.
Jason: Yeah dude, I just want people to have fucking fun and if I could ever have 15,000 people have fun, I would call that a good’s night work.
Mason: I need to get 15,000 drink tickets.
I just ask because I know some people in bands that don’t want to play big shows and just want to stay at the house show level.
Jason: I can totally understand that and dig on that, but I feel like with that kind of shit, it’s almost funner if there are more people.
Honor: Yeah, man.
Jason: Because, I mean, we’ve played some shows where there’s not too many heads there and there will be a couple dudes getting wild, but it’s more fun if everyone’s getting wild and having a good time. It’s sort of like a camaraderie thing.
Mel: Every show is about energy, so who you’re playing with, who the crowd is–
Jason: Yeah, if there’s more human beings, there’s more energy.
Honor: Regardless, all of us, we all have egos, and we try to be humble about it, but I’d fucking play to a geriatric home because I want everyone to hear it that shit. I’ll fucking play in the mash potato line at the fucking bum center
Jason: Gnarly.
[Laughter]
Jason: We gotta hook that up, man. Fuck.
I’ll do my best to set up a show for you in a homeless shelter.
Jason: Wait, only if they’re serving mash potatoes there.
[Laughter]
If they’re not, I’ll bring you some.
Jason: We would get meal tickets.
Mel: I want that instant mash shit.
Just add water?
Mel: Yeah.
[Laughter]
The stuff you get in the army?
[Laughter]
Honor: Next to your turpentine.
Jason: Mix it with blood.
Are you all from Brooklyn?
Mason: We’re from Cali.
Jason: Mason and I are both originally from California–
Honor: But the rest of the band is from Brooklyn.
Jason: This is my house, so evidently I live in Brooklyn.
Mel: Born and raised man.
Honor: Yeah, Mel grew up in East New York, where the guns are at. I grew up in Canarsie.
Mel: All the fun parts of Brooklyn, really.
Honor: Where the hoods used to be before you see these kids around.
And how did you all meet?
Jason: Pizza, beer and partying.
[Laughter]
And skating.
Mel: I grew up a couple blocks away from Abe, so we always skated together anyway. Always just kids in the hood that wanted to skateboard.
Mason: God deemed us to meet.
God made Cerebral Ballzy.
[Laughter]
Jason: In his own image.
Honor: Rad energies gravitate man. Fucking, when I met Mason he was with two whack ass bitches, but I know he was a cool dude. No homo.
Mason: God gave–
Honor: No hetero.
So Cerebral Ballzy, the name… any other names floated around?
Honor: Oh yeah man.
Jason: This is Honor’s fucking hobby. Just thinking of band names fucking constantly… Don’t kill yourself man. That look’s unsafe.
[Jason's roommate's friend is climbing up a telephone pole in the backyard]
Roommate: Is that a power line up there?
Mel: Yeah, you don’t need gloves for that.
Roommate: You need a beer while you’re up there man?
[Laughter]
Jason: Let me put a bucket of water up there man… I think that shit’s gonna work out well.
Mel: You sure you want to do that dry?
Honor: Yo dude, you want your beer? Catch.
Roommate’s Friend’s Girlfriend: He doesn’t need it. He’s good.
Roommate: He’s all stoned and drunk up there and shit.
[Laughter]
Get a hose.
[Laughter]
What other band names were floated around?
Honor: There were so many man. Fucking… The Schi– Terry Schiavo… The Schiavos… Forties and Flannels…
Mel: Terry Schiavo and the Schiavos
Honor: Terry Schiavo and the Flannels… The Helen Kellers…
So you draw a lot of inspiration from famous women.
Honor: Yeah.
Mason. With disabilities.
Honor: With disabilities. We draw a lot of inspiration from disabilities.
Mason: Yeah.
Any songs about disabilities?
Mason: We find humor in other people’s misfortune.
Honor: Every song, indirectly, is about a disability. I don’t know… I Wanna Underage Drink Forever is a disability to drink…legally… kind of… remotely…
Mason: It’s a love for that disability.
Honor: And it’s a love for that disability… And the rebellion… I don’t know… When you’re disabled you have to be rebellious to be… to be normal.
Mason: Disabled people don’t really follow in the normal path of society. They kind of spaz out in their wheelchairs. And we kind of do the same thing.
Honor: The disabled people are the most ballzy of em all. So… you know… go through life and pushing hard. Being who you are. And pushing the limit.
So besides Abe getting smashed in the head, any other near death experiences?
Jason: So much shit. We almost lost Mason in… Where the fuck were we? Wisconsin?
Mason: I fell in to a sucubus hole.
[Laughter]
Can you elaborate on that?
Jason: Well, I’ll elaborate: Mason’s a fucking idiot. Went to some two dollar whores house and we we’re trying to leave fucking early cause we had another show to drive to. Mason was nowhere to be found. Fucking… I wanted to leave him, but–
Mason: She wasn’t really a prostitute.
Jason: Circumstances ensuing, we couldn’t leave him and we had to put fucking Dan and fucking Jah Phet from the Deathset on a plane to get them there in time because this motherfucker was nowhere to be found.
Mason: Boring story.
Jason: In the end, it all worked out and we got to play the show that night and it was fine, but…
Honor: Other than that, every night is a near death experience because we do a lot of drugs.
Jason: I’m trying to think man. So much stupid shit happened on tour. And now I can’t even think of anything.
Well, often times when you’re doing copious amounts of drugs…
[Laughter]
Roommate: So you guys like Slumpbusters?
Honor: Slumbusters?
Jason: What’s that?
Roommate: Slumpbusters. There was this baseball player called…uhh… Mark Grace and anytime he used to play bad or be in a slump he said the only way to get out of it is to bang a real ugly chick.
[Laughter]
So they used to call em slumpbusters.
Honor: Man, where do you go to do that, like the mental health institution or something? Like, how do you find real ugly chicks?
Mason: You just walk around dude.
Honor: Awww…
Roommate: Just walk around…
Honor: Just walk around man, looking for ugly broads… I don’t notice ugly women, though. That might be a horrible thing to say, but it’s like, you never stop–
Jason: What altitude is your nose at man?
Honor: I’m just saying you never stop on the streets and are like, “Woah man, she’s ugly as fuck!”
Jason: No, I do that. Fuck yeah, dude.
Honor: Really? Damn dude. You’re gnarly man. You’re that diva-it-girl in the hallway.
Jason: Oh fuck you man. No, no, no. I’m not even saying girls. I’m saying people in general. If there’s somebody that’s mad weird looking…
Honor: You let em know?
I think you notice ugly people, but you don’t keep them in your memory
Jason: Yeah.
There’s no spank bank for ugly girls.
Honor: Yeah.
Jason: That’s exactly what I was gonna say. That’s good.
Honor: Yeah.
Roommate: Oh, Jimi Hendrix was manic-obsessive.
Manic depressive.
[Laughter]
Roommate: Oh no, he was obsessed. He was obsessed about fucking kick ass music.
Honor: [Laughter] I love the term kick ass dude.
Jason: I love that shit bro.
Honor: And by the way, people need to start watching more Beavis and Butthead. We should watch that shit right now.
Do you have any DVDs or VHSs here?
Honor: All the episodes are on MTV.com.
They are? That’s good to know.
Honor: It’s a good thing man.
I remember going to the movies with my family and all I wanted to see was Beavis and Butthead Do America…
Honor: Yes!
And instead I was forced to watch that movie Shine about the crazy piano player.
All: Ooohhh.
Honor: Bummer.
The two theaters were right next to each other and I remember looking up at both of them and then just staring at the floor in self defeat.
Jason: That’s like the saddest childhood memory.
I think my older sister picked up on it and took me back the next day.
Honor: Oh hell yeah.
Jason: Nice.
Honor: That’s rad.
Where are you guys from in California?
Mason: Santa Barbara.
What made you move here?
Jason: We both go to school here.
Living the dream? Streets are paved with gold.
Jason: Pretty much… Actually with like heroin and crack. When I was young, I developed… some kind of weird…
Mel: Addiction!
[Laughter]
Mason: You were addicted to crack! When I was two, I drank crack for the first time and I knew I would dedicate my life to it.
Honor: That’s why I moved to New York! Another big influece is Kids. I don’t know… I wish… Ballzy is the soundtrack to Kids.
Mel: Harold Hunter rest in peace. Raddest dude on the planet.
Honor: Chloe Sevigny: hottest chick on the planet. She’s so hot. Short hair not, when she had short hair she was fucking top– 91 Sevigny. Nothing beats it.
What was that Harmony Korine movie?
Honor: Brown Bunny where she sucks that yeah.
No, that’s Vincent Gallo.
Honor: Oh yeah.
Not Jullien Donkey Boy….
Honor: That movie’s fucking absurd man.
Mason: Gummo?
Gummo.
Jason: That’s fucking gnarly.
When she’s jumping around on the bed with the electrical tape on her nipples.
Honor: So hot. I can’t even front men. When Casper’s reaping her at the end, I thought that shit was hot.
[Laughter]
I think Larry Clark has a new film at the film festival this week.
Jason: Yeah, I heard about that.
Honor: It’s probably just like a Bang Bus episode that’s edited.
Probably. With little kids though.
Honor: Yeah. We’re not going in and out.
[Laughter]
Honor: We’re not trying to catch a charge.
[Laughter]
And that was the end of Cerebral Ballzy.
[Laughter]
Honor: Now they’re known register sex offenders. It says RSO next to our name on every bill now.
You guys did say you want to play different venues. I mean, Rikers is a venue.
[Laughter]
Honor: Hell yeah.
Roommate: What’s that psychiatric institute? What’s it called?
Bellevue?
Roommate: Bellevue, yeah. That’s a good one to play.
Honor: We should play it man.
Jason: We should. People be getting crazy there.
[Laughter]
Jason: Ba-dum, chich… I’m sorry…
Honor: Fucking, we were having an idea a couple times to play a show with crutches and shit and have helmets, but we didn’t want to take it that route. We didn’t want to take it the special ed route. Although our EP’s name is Autistic Expression.
Jason: With a beautiful piece by Seattle Steve–
Honor: Shoutout to Nick Gazen, too. He did the t-shirt.
Andrew WK played a tour in a wheelchair once but that was because he actually broke his leg.
Honor: That’s ballsy.
Jason: We’re not big on gimmicks.
Honor: No uniforms, no–
Mason: Honor does have a coon skin cap.
Honor: I do have a coon skin cap. I got it in Alabama… Before making out with the Ramone.
[Laughter]
But uh, no props, no uniforms, no… And that’s another thing. We either get hella love from kids that are like, “Yo man you guys fucking shred the gnar. You guys are fucking…” you know or it’s those in the cut punk kids that are like, “Yo man, where’s your studded vest at?” and it’s kind of not about that to us.
Roommate: Don’t worry, you guys will get over that. You’ll get over that silly it’s all about the music shit.
[Laughter]
Roommate: That shit will fucking give you cancer man.
[Laughter]
Honor: And we’re currently looking for backup dancers on Craig’s List
[Laughter]
Honor: But that pre-med student killed them all.
Jason: Yeah, man. Really fucked our shit up.
They had photos of him from college and it was supposed to be about how sweet he was back then and how evil he is now, but the photos of him in college are him playing beer pong and raging out going “AAAHHHH!”
[Laughter]
Mel: Sweet and innocent.
Honor: He had a good shot, too. A good bounce shot.
You guys want to go get more beer? I could drink something.
Jason: Yeah, man.
Alright. Plan for the rest of the day?
Honor: Skate. Drink. Eat pizza.
Any last words?
Jason: We’re Cerebral Ballzy. Come to our shows and have fun with us because we want to have fun with you.
Honor: No homo.
Interview by Nick Chatfield Taylor
Photos courtesy of Nick Chatfield Taylor, Rebbeca Smeyne and Elaan Bourn.
Tags: cerebral ballsy, cerebral ballzy, Chief Magazine, fuckin music, Issue 17
eat pizza skate drink coors…spell my fruckin name right should be added to the list fuckers! bloke bloke!