WASTER A1810 SMX

Supposed Super Mario Bros champ, graffiti writer, binge drinker, mediator... it only scratches at the surface...





Chief Magazine: Let’s get right to it, shall we? What’s the meaning of life?

WASTER A1810 SMX : I’m a deeply spiritual dude and after much meditation and introspection (on psychedelic drugs: salvia mostly), I’ve decided that my personal calling is to beat the world record for the fasted time beating the original NES Super Mario Bros. I have by one second, I swear to fucking shit! But it hasn’t been recognized by Twin Galaxies yet, so as soon as that happens I can rape this one really hot bitch and blow my fucking head off.

I don’t believe you… I don’t believe you beat the record. What is the record anyway?

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5:17, duh! But I have achieved 5:16 again and again!

But really… meditation? Psychedelic drugs? Can you elaborate?

Not really. It would take a whole book to explain my experiences on other planes of consciousness. But in layman’s terms, I like to get really fucked up on drugs. Salvia Divinorum owns. And DMT. And Peyote. And…

Were you one of those kids who ate paste and beat up girls for having cooties?

You don’t have to be a kid to enjoy either those classic pastimes!

I can only assume you’re not a virgin… what was your first time like?

Ask my dad. I was too drunk to remember.

How did you first get involved with graffiti and street art?

In high school I saw that all the cool hip-hop kids were doin’ it so I started hooking to make extra money to spend on new clothes and designer spray paint. The rest is history.

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So you started doing graffiti to be cool? Is it really that simple?

Pretty much. If you wanna get hot hipster puss you just gotta do whatever’s the hip thing at the moment. Like, I started wearing girl pants and riding a fixed gear bike. All of the sudden, it was raining chicks! I don’t know if that stuff’s still cool up there in New York. Ya’ll are usually ahead of the hip shit. Oh yeah, and MySpace! MySpace is a must in pullin’ quality hoes!

How do you get money?

Hustling little kids that want beer and drugs. It teaches them a valuable street lesson. And scamming old people. What the fuck are they gonna do with it anyway? I don’t see them buying cool clothes or Montana Paint!

Okay. Besides selling kids bags of dirt and passing it off as pot…

Just straight punking them out once they give you the loot is way less trouble then making fake drugs or props. I also tend to drug really young chicks at parties and take their purse when they’re unconscious.

Proudest moment? Most shameful moment?

Proudest: When I finally beat the world record for fastest beating of Super Mario 1.

Most shameful: My mom came home early one time and caught me fondling her dog. She just doesn’t understand.

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Moms rarely understand, do they? What's up with that?

Mine just can’t appreciate a man’s true romantic love for a miniature long-haired dachshund.

What’s the best thing about the police?

When they bleed to death of a gunshot to the fucking face.

Really? You don’t mean that…

More than anything I’ve ever said in my life. I suppose it’d be just as funny if they got their balls blown off and died more slowly and painfully.

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Any plans for the summer?

Get recognized by Twin Galaxies as the ultimate Super Mario badass and carry out my suicide mission… Maybe travel a bit. Ride bikes, motorcycles, paint, and go to some metal shows somewhere in there. I duuno, if there’s time for that shit.

Suicide mission? Is that because you’re life is complete when you’re recognized as the Super Mario record holder?

On the nose.

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Finish this sentence: “Five years from now, I’ll be…”

Dead and forgotten.

Can you tell us about a time when you thought you might not live through the night?

There’s a bunch of those, but only a few I can remember. I usually hear the stories from friends the next day. I was almost positive I was gonna fall eight stories off this pipe I was standing on, hugging a water tower in downtown Dallas. I was with my homey RVEE and I was completely annihilated drunk, and the drop was just straight down from my heels to the ground. I think the piece is still there but it looks like absolute crappola. But that’s not the fucking point.

What is the point then?

The point is I had an ubershot of adrenaline from risking my life to do something retarded. And now I have a really impressive story to get the ladies to spread ‘em.

Okay. Any shout outs?

I gotta shout to my nigs Wonone, Rakun, Stoopy, Booshy, Ra Crew, 1810 Mob, Dallas Roust Abouts, Totino, and
the rest of Skidmarxxx Pizza Gang. Skulll nowww!!!!

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